Things southern: Kudzu

As I’m wrapping up my stay here in Atlanta, I thought I would document some of the wonderful and spetacular things that I’ve encountered while in the south.

Kudzu is a plant that was promoted in the 1930’s for erosion control, but has since grown out of control. Drive around South Carolina or Georgia and you will quickly realized that Kudzu is slowly devouring the land. Soon everything here will be covered by a warm, green blanket of this leafy vine. With the capability to grow one foot per day, it doesn’t take long to take over.

Maybe it’s the name, or maybe it’s the beast-like qualities, but in my head somewhere I anthropomorphized Kudzu as a kind of angry giant:

KUDZU EAT TREE!!
KUDZU EAT TREE!!!

KUDZU EAT CAR!!
KUDZU EAT CAR!!!

People are really starting to worry… it might be… KUDZU EAT SOUTH!!!

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64 thoughts on “Things southern: Kudzu

  1. “THEY’RE CALLED HEDGE CLIPPERS! DAMN! YOU GUYS ARE SITTING HERE WHINING WHILE THIS DAMN PLANT IS TAKING OVER AND ALL YOU NEED ARE SOME HEDGE CLIPPERS TO FIGHT THE DAMN PLANT! MY GOSH YOU PEOPLE ARE PATHETIC!

    Comment by Kirby at September 20, 2003 12:20 PM”

    KUDZU EAT KIRBY
    ATLANTANS REJOICE.

    Speaking as an Atlantan myself…

    Taking hedge clippers to kudzu would be like trying to shave a moose with a single-blade disposable razor. In other words, damn near impossible. Kudzu doesn’t just grow at a foot a day… it also grows without roots. Once it’s in a tree, it doesn’t stop until the tree is dead. It’s not your run-of-the-mill ivy; it’s a fucking monster. And it’s eating my city. But thanks, Kirby. I’m glad that you adhere to the single-minded belief that all people in the South are incompetent, uneducated, and completely unable of handling ourselves.

    If there was a way to remove Kudzu, I can guarantee you one of us would have thought of it by now.

    ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO KUDZU. AND HIM CRAZY CHINESE MAN WHAT BROUGHT IT TO US.

  2. BTW, Kudzu doesnt just grow in the south, do some research and u’ll find that it grows up here in the north as well, although not as common and not quite as fast. But we have something almost as bad a Kudzu up here, look up Oriental Bittersweet.

  3. It is a monster problem in Alabama as well. thou it was not farmed like cotton it is more prevalant. There seems to be no good way to kill it only hold it at bay with a hoe or a goat.

  4. What in the hell is this stuff? The person I bought this house from told me is a fence hedge.
    I really think he was wrong!! It is eating my house!!! Really!!!

  5. What in the hell is this stuff? The person I bought this house from told me is a fence hedge.
    I really think he was wrong!! It is eating my house!!! Really!!!

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  7. i was clearing a section of overgrown woods behind a house i bought on the bayou and found a Chevy big block halfway in the ground. We tried using a tow truck to yank it out but it wouldnt budge. Kudzu had grown through all the valves and nooks and crannies and pulled it into the wet soil and now wont let it go. To keep the yard kudzu free we dug a trench 6 inches wide and a foot deep around the yard,keep it mowed three feet on the other side and Roundup it once a month. We also have to climb into the trees that overhand the trench every year to clear the kudzu out of them or the vine will drop down into the yard and root. The world has seen poison gas, nuclear warfare and germ warfare, i think kudzu might be the next generation of dangerous ways to attack enemies.

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