Tooth phones don’t go to heaven

The fires in Colorado have got some people thinking it’s time for the apocalypse ( Of particular interest is the Left Behind series by Tim F. LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins. This 9 book series (working on 10) chronicles the end of the earth, Revelations style, and has been charted as a best seller since starting in 1995. The combined sales have reached 50 million copies, which doesn’t include me. I feel just the same way when my advisor made fun of me for not having read Harry Potter. The series starts with a bang:

At the start of Book 1, on a 747 bound for Heathrow from Chicago, the flight attendants suddenly find about half the seats empty, except for the clothes and wedding rings and dental fillings of the believers who have suddenly been swept up to heaven. Down on the ground, cars are crashing, husbands are waking up to find only a nightgown in bed next to them, and all children under 12 have disappeared as well.

So if fillings and wedding rings don’t go to heaven, does that mean people will be leaving behind their tooth phones? That might be my only chance to have one, since they’ll probably be inordinantly expensive when they come out. I’ll have to find some sinning dentist to implant it, of course, and will only be able to talk to my sinner friends for a couple of days, but won’t it be cool? Tooth phones baby!

5 thoughts on “Tooth phones don’t go to heaven

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