How to win your Oscar pool

Oscars posterI do this every year, and I feel really guilty about it. Also, I don’t have a party to go to tonight, so I’m a little bitter I won’t be making $50. There are other sites that claim to help you win, but this surefire technique works every time (until your opponents find out about it).

Four steps to taking money from people at Oscars parties

  1. Suggest a pool. In fact, print out some pool ballots before you leave for your party. Make enough to cover all of the hapless fools whose money you will take. Make sure to give extra points for the major categories (Best Picture, Best Actor, et al.), which will come in hand later.
  2. Take HSX’s choices verbatim. The Hollywood Stock Exchange has an options market for the Oscars, and every year gets almost every one right. It covers all of the major categories, but not the minor ones, but you remembered to give them extra weight, right?
  3. Make obvious choices for lesser awards. Many sources offer predictions, so just take the average of these and you’ll do pretty well.
  4. Win money. You have the wisdom of crowds on your side. You will, believe me. I do it every year. If you don’t believe me, check the statistics.

There you go. Yes, it’s unethical, and yes, it takes the fun out of the game, but it works. And if you don’t do it, someone else will. Good luck, and Godspeed.