Lady not so Sovereign in SF

This is a story about one man’s brush with celebrity, and a donut.

So this guy (Zach Slow) goes to Coachella and sees a cute girl who goes by the name of SOV. Mesmerized and inspired, he sets up a website to get her attention by raising $10k for a date with said girl. After some serious media coverage, girl agrees to go on said date, but only if he reaches $10k. The amazing part: he succeeds.

Boats, champagne, and some other things happen. MC Jelly Donut is present. The final Mastercard bill:

Yacht and private chef: $5,000
Stretched SUV limo for 5 hours: $1000
First class flights to LA: $1000
Hotel rooms plus a suite at super fancy hotel: $1500
Overly priced primo booze for 7 people: $700
Tips for staff on yacht and limo: $180
Limo to airport: $150
Gifts: $200
Paypal charges: roughly $270

The date goes so well that the girl has a hard time at her show the next day in LA. She claims she was sick.

Round two. The girl comes back to San Francisco for a second tour only a few months later, this time with a bigger posse. She plays the bigger venue for a bigger crowd. In an interview, she talks about her date with the boy. For whatever reason, she decides to lay in on the poor kid from SF. His grandma has cash. It was a horrible night. Somehow it’s all his fault because the donut came along. Then she plays her worst show yet, and people demand a refund. She says she was sick. She does it again the next day in LA, and someone actually catches it on tape. Still sick, apparently.

The boy responds to the press, but no one is listening this time.

Round three. I get an email last night about another show. Apparently she is back for a third visit, this time because her previous show as so bad. After the last interview, the boy is ready for action. He’s ready to take her on… er, the donut will for him:

tomorrow night (monday the 8th), my good friend Lady Sovereign is playing at the Mezzanine. i say “good friend” with a sense of irony because she has been kind of a jerk-face to me.

if you don’t already know the story… it’s long and boring, so lemme just skip to the good part.

monday night, our buddy Jelly Donut is trying to pull off one of the most amazing stunts ever conceived. he is going to try to battle Lady Sovereign at her show. yes, you heard me correctly. HE IS GOING TO TRY TO BATTLE LADY SOVEREIGN DURING HER SHOW.”

WE WANT JELLYDuring the show, supporters of the kid handed out images of a Jelly Donut with the instructions, “hold this up and chant for Jelly Donut after the fourth song.” The girl leads off with her most popular jam, followed by a couple of forgettable tracks. The crowd is anxious (well, at least I was) when the fourth song arrives. Some people hold up their donuts. Nothing happens.

After the fourth song, the girl notices the guy in the audience and starts taunting him, “you fucking kid. You stoner. I love SF but I hate this kid. You fucking grandma’s boy. You stoner.. you’re just a Beavis! Hahaha (lauging at self) Hahaha.” Meanwhile, people have started chanting “JEL-LY… JEL-LY… JEL-LY…” and the bouncers are running around the audience and hopping up on stage. The girl spits her drink at the donut, and the audience retaliates with some more liquid, tagging her square in the face. Bouncers continue to bounce, the girl drops another song, the crowd is quelled, and the donut is ejected.

Donut needs a drinkMeanwhile, MC Jelly Donut, Zach, et al. are hanging in the parking lot. They reenact the scene where the girl spits her drink all over him. All he wanted to do was battle her, no violence intended; just a merry prankster dressed up as a donut. The donut’s final words: “Anyone know a good dry cleaner? I got SOV all over my donut. Hold on a sec, I need a ride home. Lemme take this thing off.”

Will there be a round 4? Maybe when the girl grows up someday. Wait, she’ll probably be sick that day.

Update: Thank you Flickr for documenting everything.

Update: plans for Lady SOV domination on Flickr.

Update: Perezhilton and Idolator on the Lady Sovereign/Jelly Donut showdown.

Update: Yahoo! News is covering the Jelly Donut/Lady Sovereign battle.

Update: A YouTube video of the incident has appeared.

26 thoughts on “Lady not so Sovereign in SF

  1. I was there, standing right next to the guy who turned into Jelly Donut. I couldn’t figure out what this guy was doing at the show with the dog bed/pillow thing he had with him…

    He got on his buddy’s shoulders and tried to get on stage. Security pushed him back. SOV continued, but recognized him, and said something in the security guy’s ear. Soon after she threw a full drink right at him, then moved stage right with a smile on her face. During her next trip to stage left she spit at him.

    Jelly and his group chanted “Jelly Donut” over and over, with many screaming “bitch” as well. At some point it was in-between songs, and SOV and the security guy positioned at stage left seemed to be on the verge of doing something, they just weren’t sure what. I heard SOV say to him “Are you going to ___ or am I?” “Pop” him? “Smack” him? I don’t know. I saw her starting to form a spit wad to shoot at him, but she didn’t, and I’m not sure what happened next. I used the chaos to get about 1 yard from the stage, so I did not see Jelly Donut get ejected.

    “Fuck the Donut,” SOV said at one point, and I tend to agree. He was there to get attention for himself, and the disruption was completely self-serving and mean-spirited. Jelly Donut & Co.: YOU ALL LOOKED OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER!!! LEAVE THE LITTLE GIRL ALONE, YOU CREEPS!!!

  2. oh please, this whole thing was rigged.
    hello, how much press did she get out of the whole zach slow episode.
    and yeah, lady did whisper something to the security ‘it’s ok!’ and then proceeded to act like she was ‘angry.’
    or how about the fact that they had a HUGE guestlist, the Jelly Donut peeps?
    Sov knows them.
    and they’re filmmakers.
    coincidence? doubtful

  3. Yes: rigged by the donut, for the donut. Yes the donut is a publicity-seeking filmmaker. Yes SOV knows the donut: he was on the yacht during her date with Zach Slow–he wanted to battle her then, and she made it clear she wasn’t interested. Dude, there’s no way you heard what she said in that security guy’s ear, but if she did say “it’s ok!” it was because she knew the guy, and wanted to try to handle it herself first. She’s a tough girl, and didn’t want to look like she needed to be rescued. If in fact her people put that group on guest list, it might have been to serve as an olive branch for this silly post-date feud, with no idea the donut would try to storm the stage.

    In his own creepy words, the donut explains how he and his group pulled it off:

    http://music.yahoo.com/read/news/39176929

  4. Pingback: overstated » Feud with Jelly Donut

  5. That girls not gon take shit from somethin u by and EAT! dam it, she dont need no fuckin jellly jellin around its fat jello in front of her. nobody wan see that! He wanted the fuckin date and he dont even watch her vids to know who she is to know that 10k aint gon do shit for him with her. hes got to know what hes takin out. selfucked.

  6. Pingback: Lady Sov vs. The Donut « URB

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