Telemarketing I can’t refuse

I’m a pretty harsh critic when it comes to telemarketing. I’m especially unhappy when these slimey creatures get my cell phone number. I can also be a bit unhappy when they wake me up on a Saturday. I’m not a housewife, I’m a grad student, and grad students need their sleep on the weekends. Doesn’t their detailed marketing data tell them that?

all telemarketers are this cuteSo this story starts with a phone call to my cell phone at 9am on a Saturday, and I’m about to rip this guy a few new eye sockets when he tells me he’s calling from Comcast. Ok, my bad, I’m the one that made the mistake of giving them my cell phone. Must have been a weak moment. Anyway, he tries to offer me a cable modem, I refuse, asks how much I pay for DSL and I say $30/mo., and he offers me cable for $23/mo. No contracts, no hidden costs, just 20% lower than their competitor. Suffice to say, once I had cleared the guck out of my eyes and realized the gravity of the situation, I accepted his offer.

So I’ve resolved that I’ll give telemarketers a chance in the future. I’ll constrain our interaction to the following dialog:

  • Me: hello?
  • Telemarketer: I am prepared to offer you a service you already have for 20% less than what you’re currently paying.
  • Me: ok. hit me.
  • Telemarketer: Knife sharpening for $3 per month.
  • Me: strings?
  • Telemarketer: one-year contract.
  • Me: deal. take care of the arrangements.

Any subtle deviation and I’ll revert to the old me. Truthfully, this was the first positive experience I’ve ever had with a sales person on the phone, and it was immediately followed by a speedy disconnection of my DSL and phone service immediately afterwards. Maybe these people are finally getting their act together.

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